Days like today make me realize how weak and fragile I am. I wake up feeling good and everything is going pretty good then suddenly I feel weak. Nothing physical, but soon I realize that the emotional weakness is taking its toll on the physical. Most of the time, when I feel this sudden “emotional weakness” it is because there is something bothering me.

I feel kind of hopeless, as if whatever is bothering me is bigger than God’s power and strength. My worries can be as wide and as deep as the ocean sometimes and I am not proud of that.

But is there anything bigger than God? Isn’t He the one who created the heaven and the earth? Then why is it so hard to remember that God is mighty? As I was reading Acts 12 and thinking about how we doubt God even through prayers, I was surprised (and truthfully, kind of relieved) to know that I wasn’t the only person who sometimes doubts and limits God’s sovereignty. 

God is limitless, we are the ones who limit Him with doubts, fears, and worries. 

In the book of Acts, we see how Peter and the other believers were really strong men of God. They did everything together, “they ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God.” Acts 2:46 The church was really strong at this time because they prayed and prayed without ceasing, and they consecrated their lives to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Lord, I pray that we become a generation of prayer warriors and that we consecrate our whole lives to the teaching of the gospel of Christ. So, considering the fact that the Church fellowshipped together everyday, I wasn’t surprised by Acts 12:5: “So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him”. The fact that Peter was in prison didn’t make the church weak because their hope was in Christ not in Peter.

Praise be to God! 

I become weak whenever I put my faith in myself or in my circumstance.

God had been doing amazing miracles through Peter and the other disciples, so we would think that the other disciples believed that Peter was going to be released regardless of King Herod’s commands. Aren’t we suppose to believe that God will come through for us regardless of all the forces against us? Peter had the biggest opposition you would think of, it was the King himself who put him in prison. “Humanely thinking”, that could have been a tough situation to get out of. When we give into our fears, doubts, and worries, are we not “humanely thinking”?

God being mighty, He got Peter out of the prison. And He didn’t get him out in a “normal” way. “Peter followed the angel of the Lord and they passed the first and second guards and came to the iron gate leading to the city. It opened for them by itself and they went through it” (Acts 12:10). When God comes through for you, He is going to do it in a mighty and amazing way. When Peter went back to the house where others were gathered, I couldn’t believe what they said to the servant girl when she told them that Peter was now free. “You’re out of your mind”, “It must be an angel” (Acts 12:15).  Don’t we do the same? “Worry praying”- worrying disguised as prayer because when God answers we doubt if He really answered our prayers.

With all that God had done for the church, why was it hard for them to believe that God actually got Peter out of prison? I do the same. Sometimes, my worries overshadow God’s promises. I can’t tell you how many times I have sang the song Shine by David Crowder Band:

But can I tell you something? Every single time I have cried to God, He has always come through for me. Even the times when I don’t have faith, He still answers me. How do I know He answers even when I don’t have faith? The Bible tells me so. 2 Timothy 2:13 “If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for He cannot deny who He is.” I am forever so thankful for a faithful God. One of the things that never cease to amaze me is His faithfulness, because I know how unfaithful I am to Him.

“Clouds are the sorrows, sufferings, or providential circumstances, within or without our personal lives, which actually seem to contradict the sovereignty of God. Yet it is through these very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith.” ~Oswald Chambers

One thing that’s guaranteed is that we will always have clouds. But one thing that’s more important to remember is God is always there to rescue us. Always. Always. I have come to understand that emotional weakness doesn’t mean there is something wrong with me.

These clouds are always a sign that God is nearer to me at the moment.

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.” Psalm 34: 15, 17-22

“Behold, He is coming with clouds…” Revelation 1:7

In the devotional My Utmost for His highest, Chambers writes: “If there were never any clouds in our lives, we would have no faith. “The clouds are the dust of His feet.” Nahum 1:3. They are a sign that God is there. Clouds come along with God. God cannot come near us without clouds- He does not come in clear-shining brightness.”

Take heart friend, it’s a long way home but by God’s grace, we will make it home.

“We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.” Acts 14:22

Dear God, I am so sorry for my doubts and my worries. I am so sorry for every time I ever doubted Your sovereignty. I am so thankful for people like Chambers that remind us that clouds are necessary for the growth of our faith and that they are indeed a sign of Your presence. And God, thank You so much for removing our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. Please, help us live a godly life. We love and cherish Your presence. Thanks for hearing us. In the glorious name of Jesus I pray! Amen