As I am writing this, I am “happy”.
Whatever that means. I just had a conversation with my chemistry professor.
Does God use all things, I mean ALL things for our good?
It’s that conversation with another human being that brings joy to your heart.
It’s that warm weather that makes you thankful to still be able to breathe in and breathe out.

I don’t always see the good side of things, and lately I have struggled with worries, and not measuring up to what I am supposed to do.
But God has been faithful more than I ever dared to believe. I have seen God in the woman at church who gives me a hug after I have warned her that I have a flu; I have literally seen God in a text of a friend that comes at the right time.
I have been speechless with all God is. I have been in tears a lot times lately because of His goodness and mercy.

“But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied…” Exodus 1:12

Joy can be found in unexpected places.
Grace will run wild in your life when you least deserve it.

The more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied…

The more things went bad, the more they were really going well as well.

Why do we struggle with worry? Why do we hold our hands in fists against our faithful God?

Our funny life

God has a will for you. And you have a dream for yourself.
You decide to follow Him. And He is beyond pleased that you are coming along for the ride.
He starts making His will come to pass in your life and unconsciously or consciously you start to try to “sneak” your dream into His will.
Me and you want our dream to mesh with God’s will. That’s why we get disappointed and worried. We worry because “our idea of what God’s will is supposed to be like” doesn’t turn out the way we expected.
We have to be bold and courageous to let go of “our dreams” to experience the fullness of God and to accomplish His will for us.

“Oh God only if I could understand what you are doing…” If we are being honest, we can say that an answer to this statement never made anybody more trusting or more faithful to God.

God hears

“During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel-and God knew”. Exodus 2:23-25

You can take anything to God.
Lately I have learned to really be honest with God. And with care, He has handled my heart and led me to truth. Somehow we have this idea that we have to be politically correct before God. You tell Him “what He wants to hear” and thank Him for all He has done so far for you and that’s it, right?

As I have been seeing more and more how frail and sinful I am, I have being introduced to another side of God that I didn’t know: God The counselor. God The fearless confronter of my sin.

Yes, God is love and faithful and I will always brag about that, but different seasons of life are supposed to bring us to a deeper understanding of God.

In their slavery, the Israelites got to know God as patient. He saw their pain, and set a plan in motion that didn’t look like a plan. As most of us know, God’s plan started with Moses talking to Pharaoh and doing signs. But things got worse from there.

“Then Moses turned to the Lord and said, “O Lord, why have you done evil to this people? Why did you ever send me? For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, He has done evil to this people, and you have not delivered your people at all”. Exodus 5:22-23

Most of us define a plan as certain actions that move a person forward, right? At least, I do. 
But that’s not exactly what a plan means, a plan in the dictionary is defined as “a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something”.

I can imagine the Israelites and Moses thinking: what are You doing, You are making things worse!
And God tells them: I have a plan.
But things are going worse, what do you mean You have a plan?

With God, sometimes the way forward is backwards.

With God, sometimes failure is success in His eyes.

Look at Jesus, did His death look like the way forward? Think about it…

But it was indeed the way forward, right?

And when God boldly asks you “Will you be okay being a failure in the eyes of people and so be a success in My eyes?” 

What do you say? I am still trying to answer that question, because I want my answer to be sincere.
At the same I’m broken over the fact that I didn’t shout a Yes to that question right away… maybe my love for Him isn’t as big as I thought it was?
I am sorry God… I am so sorry God that I don’t love You as I should.
Thank You for Your love, it is relentless, and it won’t stop winning my heart… And bringing my heart and life to a place of YES to all You say and do!

All these worries and trials will lead you forward if you keep leaning on Jesus.
So there is joy in the midst of the worries and during our own frailty because there is more of Jesus to be enjoyed even in these moments.

I don’t want to have joy when God has delivered me of my trials, I want to fight for joy even when I can’t “feel” it, because God is ever closer in my not-so good moments. Trials don’t delay us from anything. What delays us from what we are called to do and to be is not “letting patience have its perfect work, that we may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing”. James 1:4

Surprisingly, she learned that she was being led forward regardless of what was going on around her and inside of her… And that by itself was something to be amazed about and to be thankful for…