Most girls dream of forever afters, and forever afters are beautiful. A forever after is a commitment that whatever might come between two people, love will conquer, love will endure, love will sacrifice and suffer long for one’s sake and the other person’s sake.

When would I get my forever after? When would I get my forever after God?
This is a question burning in most of young adults’ minds even though only a handful would admit that. There is really nothing wrong with wanting a forever after with a person you love, the problem becomes when you don’t enjoy whatever season you are in because you are just longing for someone or something in the future.

A different kind of longing

It’s 7:25 am and I am driving to school for my 8 am calculus class. The radio is playing “My heart is Yours, my heart is Yours, take it all, take it all, my life in Your hands…”

I pause long pondering on these words.

Yes, my heart is His but am I longing for a forever with Him? I mean, everyone gets all “smiley” and “happy” when they think of the thought of heaven, but are we looking forward to heaven or the person we will meet there, namely Jesus? Do we love heaven because we don’t want to go to hell and because we are afraid of it, but not so much because we want to meet Our first Love?!

It’s like one those things where a person is so in love with love but no so much with his or her partner, if that makes sense? How many times a day, do you spend focusing on the day you will meet Your everything, dear soul? Like others, I look forward to being done with school, I look forward to having a family of my own one day; I dream, do all I can during the day and go to sleep, and the next day the cycle repeats.

I am the cynical girl who is always looking for the next big thing instead of being still and enjoying what God is giving. right. now. at. this. moment.

Ann Voskamp writes in her book One thousand gifts the below:

“This is where God is. In the present. I AM⎯ His very name, I AM, so full of the weight of the present… and God Himself is timeless. It’s not the gift that fulfill, but the holiness of the space. The God in it. This is supreme gift, time, God Himself framed in moment…
The clock ticks slow. I hear it for what it is: good and holy. Time, what God first deemed holy above all else (Genesis 2:3). Thank God for time, and very God enters that time, presence hallowing it. True, this, full attention slows time and I live the full moment, right to outer edges. But there’s more. I awake to I AM here. When I’m present, I meet I am, the very presence of a present God. In His embrace, time loses all sense of speed and stress and space and stands so still and holy. Here is the only place I love Him.”

Now is the only time I love Him.

There is no next big thing. This very moment is the big thing, this moment is all there is because the Lord is in every place, with you, and we live life not aware of it (Genesis 28:16).

I mean life is too busy, how can God expects us to not only spend some quality time with Him, but also spent all our whole day longing for Him?

Longing for?

– Longing for the day You will wipe away all our tears, and on that day there will be no more mourning or crying (Revelation 21:4)

– Longing for the day when I can give You Jesus a big long hug and whisper, thank YOU for saving me, thank YOU for loving me anyways, thank YOU for taking me back always.

– Longing for the day I shall sin no more.

– Longing for the day when I will be with Him forever.

– Longing for the day when I will be face to face with You Jesus.

– Longing for the day when I will see a glimpse of how much You have loved me, how much You amazingly love me. Will I ever get a glimpse of His love? Ever?

In the words of Mercy Me, I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus or in. AWE. of you be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine…

Unworthy… but still loved

Many times than I can count, in the depth of my heart I silently always ask God, “why do you love me? You know the worst of me, but still somehow every morning You want my heart, somehow You always pursue me, somehow You always give me Your all, somehow You gave me Your all on the cross at calvary”?

He always gives me the same answer: With everlasting love I have loved you, with everlasting love I will always love you. My love doesn’t depend on what you do, but who I am. I am love!

How in the world can you not long for Love Himself?

Oh God, in my fallen nature I will praise You,
In my darkness, I will sit and wait for You
I will always speak of Your goodness
as long as I live, in Your grace
I will seek You
I will seek You imperfectly but I will seek You

I long to be with You
Teach me Your ways Father,
quietly I will watch You make me holy
surely I will fear You
purposefully I will always behold You
I long to see You
I long to be with You,
because Your love is better than life!